Make Meaning Out of Tragedy

Make Meaning Out of Tragedy We are feeling the pain of grief. Lots of us have felt the pain of grief this year. We’ve lost loved ones, friends, and sickle cell warriors. I, being the kind of bookish person that I am, read up on the stages of grief—you know, the anger, guilt, and acceptance message that I thought would help. It did and it didn’t. I was helped by friends in the sickle cell community, friends who understand that we are all grieving when our grown children can’t seem to find the care they need. Grieving when the new therapies we’ve heard so much about are dismissed by doctors we thought we could trust. And of course, grieving when we find that our child is suffering from yet more damage from this disease: kidney failure, stroke, hip necrosis, whatever. That grief righteously turns to anger. We’ve known the science behind sickle cell for at least 100 years, but I can count successful therapies on the fingers of one hand—that’s pathetic. Thank God for the doctors that figured out that penicillin could help our children live through childhood, and for those who discovered that hydroxyurea could work in preventing painful crises. But for those of us who have lost loved ones, we wonder if more could have been done. It’s this question that haunts us, especially for those who are still living. Is enough being done? Am I doing enough? Each of us has to answer these questions for ourselves. For me, I know I have to continue the battle. That means writing, speaking, and engaging with everyone who might be able to help. And everyone can help. Helping might take the form of a call to a member of Congress in support of legislation. Helping might mean making a donation. Helping might mean speaking up at a club meeting or at church. Once I’ve decided on a purpose and a direction, the grief and anger tend to fade. I know they’ll be back. Grief and anger seem to come in waves—sometimes when least expected. But if I’m doing something I don’t feel the guilt—it’s a way to make meaning out of tragedy.   Nancy M. René Co-Founder, JVT Advocates Los Angeles, California, United States